Thoughts On Mr. Williams

Robin Williams. So many wonderful memories come to mind when that name is spoken. My dad and I spent hours watching his feel-good movies when I was growing up. One night years ago we were searching the aisles of Target for a movie to watch. We happened upon what is now my favorite movie of all time. The front cover of the movie was a goofy Robin dressed as a doctor with big red clown shoes. Patch Adams. It is one of the most moving and uplifting movies I have ever had the pleasure of watching (over and over and over). That movie made me fall in love with Mr. Williams' humor and since then, he has been my favorite actor.
He passed away on August 11 of this year. I was struck with a great deal of shock and despair. I have never cried over someone that I have never met. What hit me hardest was the fact that he took his own life. How could someone so bright, goofy, energetic and seemingly happy want something so dark? I've had a hard time processing this information. It just goes to show that the world is not always as it seems. No one really knows the goings-on of others' minds. Although the eyes are supposedly the window to the soul, in order to see the soul one really has to look and pay attention. And sometimes, there is a harsh truth that lies there.
At first, I thought what a horribly selfish thing to commit suicide and leave his loved ones behind to mourn and to be without him while he goes off to find happiness. To have concern for no one's life but his own. But then I realized something else. It's his life. What about what Robin wants? Does anyone care what Robin wants? He had done nothing but give and give and give. To everyone. His family, his fans, his friends. He wanted nothing more than to ease everyone's suffering, despite the suffering in his own heart. How incredibly sad that we couldn't do the same for him. Even after his death, people call him selfish and are blasting him for his actions. If someone you love is suffering in this life, in this world, why would you want them to live in that misery? That is not love, that is selfishness. It is a hard notion to grasp, to think about yourself wanting death for another person that you love. However, asking that person to stay just so you have them in your life is a devastatingly selfish thought.
I watched Patch Adams a couple of days ago in honor of Robin. As I watched, I noticed how alike he and his character, Patch, were. The only thing keeping them both alive was healing others through humor. As Patch, he said, "You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome." And although he said this while playing a character in a movie, Robin proved that he also lived by this in his own life. Robin has made us all smile over the years but it's possible that nothing or no one could make Robin smile. I wish that we could have given back to him all the joy and laughter he gave to us. I think that's the saddest part of all this - that he so selflessly gave joy and hope to everyone despite his own suffering and that we couldn't return the favor. I hope with all my heart that he is able to smile now.

Welcome to the Magical Island of St. Lucia!

Immediately prior to purchasing tickets to see the synth-pop band, St. Lucia, at the Observatory in Santa Ana, I posted my excitement on Twitter, like a regular social-media-enthusiast. As I was scrolling through the feed, mostly comments from musicians I admire, I noticed a post from Conway, a newfound favorite of mine. It mentioned that she will soon be joining St. Lucia on their "When The Night" tour and listed the Observatory. My sister and I had no idea that she would be there along with St. Lucia and we could not contain our excitement, nor could we wait another month for this magical night to befall us.
On the night of Valentine's Day, we arrived at the wonderland that is the Observatory, ready for a great night.

kassia conway.

As soon as we walked through the front double doors into the dimly lit lobby, we noticed, chillin' at the merch booth, was Conway herself!
I had discovered Conway's powerful single "Big Talk" while searching YouTube for new music one day. I fell in love with her sassy, quirky, bad-ass essence immediately. In her brilliant homemade video, she brandishes plastic swords, dons a Pokemon-esque yellow dragon hat, and smirks cheekily at the audience. Tryin' to be grown up, but we really just kids...I just couldn't wait for the world to fall in love with her like I did.

from "big talk" music video.

As Conway was taping a homemade sign expressing merchandise prices onto the display, my sister and I walked over and said hello. She peeked over her shoulder, returned the greeting and continued, "Does the sign look good here?" Her mellow, laid-back personality was unexpected as it seemed completely opposite from the independent, bold one portrayed in the "Big Talk" video. She was giddy and effervescent about her music, the tour with St. Lucia, her debut EP on a 10" vinyl, her radio appearance in Laguna Beach that morning, everything! She exclaimed how surprised she was to see how many people had shown up that night to hear her and St. Lucia. It was so refreshing to know there are artists that care so much and that will take the time for their fans. It seems that there are so many divas... She is such a dynamic, resplendent presence, and it's so easy to connect with her. Conway asked if we had seen St. Lucia before and after we said we hadn't, she told us we were in for a real treat. We were thrilled to meet such an easygoing, greatly talented, cool person and our excitement to see her perform was growing. As down-to-earth as she was offstage, she sure cranked it up onstage.
She strutted onto stage humbly but with the aura that she owned the place. "Happy Valentine's Day and all that shit," and proceeded to throw in a couple of lunges (while wearing a dress). Conway was encouraged by the crowd's whoops and hollers.
Belting out strong, powerful vocals, she danced all around stage, rattling a tambourine, throwing kicks and punches, engaging the crowd, threatening the edge of the stage, leaning into the audience. Interspersed among the power tunes, "Hustler" and, of course, "Big Talk", were softer, sweeter songs. The deep contrast between her dynamic voice and the softer instrumentals was beautiful and captivating. During "Big Talk", my sister and I jumped around like lunatics, singing at the top of our lungs, performing (with no shame whatsoever) our own interpretive dance of the song. We were absolutely having a blast and loving every minute of our time with the blended electronic, hip-hop, R&B, synth-pop artist.
"If you wanna come say hi, I'll be hangin' at the merch booth. I'll be the one sweating in blue." I was stunned. What a dazzling, incredibly talented performer. She has the ability to change the mood of the entire audience with her wide range of songs. I recently read that the Rolling Stone has listed her in their "Top 10 Greatest New Discoveries" collection and she is also currently touring with Ellie Goulding. I'm so glad the world is falling in love, too.

welcome to the beautiful island of st. lucia.

Welcome to the beautiful, magical island of St. Lucia! A neon blue gleam threw shadows onto the instruments and a synth-beat rumbled through the room, jump-starting the hearts of us all. The five members of Brooklyn-based St. Lucia entered and a huge explosion of deferential, exuberant applause flooded the room. South-African frontman, Jean-Philip Grobler, approached the microphone and smilingly bellowed, "Santa Ana!!" The crowd returned the love and the band looked at each other with huge smiles on their face, as if they were experiencing their very first show ever. They broke into their first song of the night -- "The Night Comes Again". Each of the band members danced and rocked vehemently along with the rest of us, their contagious passion infecting every soul in the room.

frontman jean-philip grobler & keyboardist patricia beranek.

During "Closer Than This", we all believed the song was specifically for us. It seemed to be esoteric and we fell for it. The band was relaying to us our closeness. All of us in that room were one. We had reached the apogee of closeness, uniting over a love of good music.
"Wait For Love", "All Eyes On You", "The Way You Remember Me", "September". The night was full of magnificent tunes with substantial beats, electric melodies and an 80's vibe.
We had truly been transported to the world of St. Lucia, a magical place full of singing and dancing, rainbows of lights, South African tablecloths and love.
Upon the last notes of the last song, "When The Night", each of the band members were jumping from the platform, playing guitar on their knees, banging their heads, having a crazy good time. And when it was over, we were returned to Orange County, left inspired by the events of the night.

relaying love to st. lucia.

This talented, electrifying band of five are extremely passionate, life-loving and purely enchanting. My sister and I left that night with the music of St. Lucia locked tight in our hearts and that's where it shall stay.







Discover Conway's music! iamconway.com   @conwaymusic. Her EP "Big Talk" is available on iTunes!

Discover St. Lucia's music! stlucianewyork.com   @stlucianewyork. Their LP "When The Night" is available on iTunes, along with a couple EPs!

Also, look for them on YouTube.

p.s. i do not own any of the pictures, i do not take any credit for any of them. thanks:)

Joy.

I have been to the beach more times this winter than I had gone during the whole summer. California is a wonderland. When my sister Alison and I decided to head to Laguna Beach one warm winter day, it seemed that everyone else in southern California had the same idea. We could not find parking whatsoever, so we headed south on PCH a ways,

the sound spectrum.

hoping to find something somewhat close to the main beach. I am a frequent visitor of the Sound Spectrum (www.soundspectrumlaguna.com), a locally owned music store, offering both used and new records, CDs, posters, t-shirts, and other memorabilia. I knew for a fact there is always available parking down there, even though it is quite a hike from the main beach. We didn't feel like trekking all that way, and after parking, we just walked straight toward the ocean, hoping there would be some way down to the beach from the street. And, hallelujah, there was! Steps right down to the sand! After the descend into paradise, we laid our giant purple blanket down on white sand and noticed the beach was almost vacant. Why? we wondered. It was absolutely perfect. We also noticed something else that surprised us: dogs! People had their dogs down here! The only dog beach I knew of close to us is in Huntington Beach. I read the nearby sign and it said they actually allow dogs from October to March and I knew right away I had to bring my little Tucson down here. 

So, a couple days later, we did! I brought my sister and her best friend, my best friend and our two dogs, Katy and Tucson. As we walked down the steps a second time, Tuc couldn't hold his horses! The teeny dog almost pulled me right down the steps, he was so excited! He had never experienced the beach and the ocean before. As I unhooked his leash from his collar, it was like unleashing the Tasmanian Devil. He spun off, leaping over rocks, splashing in the shallow waves, flinging sand all around himself, a black flash zipping in every direction. He was simply overwhelmed with excitement. 

I put my purse down on the same giant purple blanket that we had placed in the same spot as last time, pulled out two green tennis balls and launched them toward the water. My little pup's ears pointed straight toward the sky and tail spinning like a propeller, tongue flopping, he chased the heck out of them. Chest deep in the salty waves, he bobbed for tennis balls, retrieved them like a proper retriever, raced them back up the beach and waited for more. 

my tucson havin' some fun in the sun.

Katy, the little princess that she is, watched comfortably from the blanket, keeping an eye on her little buddy and barking orders at him when he got too out of control. 

We all chased the little dog while he zigzagged in and out of our legs, coming barely within our reach. He knew we wouldn't be able to catch him and he teased us relentlessly. 

People walking up and down the beach watched him in delight too, not expecting this teeny dog to be so energetic, playful and fond of the ocean. They all secretly wished their dog was as cool as mine.

Watching him myself, I saw pure joy in my little boy that day. And with that, I found pure joy in myself. I was so happy watching him be so happy. He had no troubles in the world. A simple day at the beach has the power to make a dog's whole life. I'm positive with every fiber of me that he had the best day of his life that day. I could see it. It doesn't take much to please a dog. A tennis ball and someone to throw it. 

The Energizer bunny masked as a dog appeared to have run out of juice by the end of the day in the sun. He slept in my lap the whole drive home, wet and sandy, the wind in our faces as he wouldn't allow me to roll the window up. I love that silly dog to death. 

Sometimes it takes so much for people to be happy. Maybe not even happy, just content. It's the simple things in life that we need to find joy in. Like playing with our puppies in the sunshine. Watching the waves. Spending time with people we love. It shouldn't take much.

p.s. i do not own the photo of sound spectrum but I do own the photo of my puppy!:)

www.lagunabeachinfo.com
www.lagunabeachcity.net

The Roxy Rocks.

the roxy theatre, sunset boulevard, west hollywood.

Turning onto Sunset Boulevard, I really felt like I was living the true California lifestyle and I felt lucky. Although I live pretty close to Los Angeles, it's not very often that I get to visit and treasure the famed city. And it's especially exceptional when I get to spend my time at one of the coolest venues ever, The Roxy Theatre in West Hollywood. Many famous artists have recorded and/or performed here, including (but definitely not limited to) Neil Young, Peter Gabriel, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Marley & The Wailers, Jane's Addiction, Chili Peppers, so on and so forth. But tonight, my dad and I were here for one reason -- The Walking Papers.

After having a lovely dinner whilst people-watching at a nearby Italian restaurant, and a pleasant chat with a man at Coffee Bean that looked and dressed shockingly like Jesus Christ (except for the brand new New Balance sneakers), we walked down Sunset toward the Roxy. Dad and I arrived for the show an hour before door time. How nerdy are we!? Very. But we have a great time wherever we go, even waiting by ourselves in the line outside a closed nightclub. We even ended up making friends with the security guard that was manning the front door. 

jesus christ, obviously.

As we were explaining to him just how great this band is, Jeff himself, clad in an almost Jimi Hendrix-style psychedelic flowered shirt and vintage dress shoes, vest and fedora, walked right past us! I'd always imagined that if something like that happened, I would freeze and/or fall to the ground in shock of being "starstruck" (even though I believe that being "starstruck" is completely idiotic). By some unknown miracle, neither happened. Instead, I made eye contact with Jeff and said "Hey, how are you!" 

With a nervous laugh, his response was, "Flustered," and with that, he disappeared around the side of the building. I had said hello to my new-found idol, how cool is that! And I thought that was it, and that was already more than enough to make my whole night. And of course, after Jeff was out of sight, I turned back towards Dad and proceeded to jump around with excitement.

However, Jeff reappeared around the corner with a smile on his face and calm in his eyes. He walked straight toward Dad and I and said, "False alarm! How are you both?" In my surprisingly calm state -- and with Dad's perpetually composed nature -- the three of us made great conversation. He told us about his plans during his visit in L.A. and we let him know that we are big fans of his and his music, and how we came about discovering the band. I had always thought that telling someone I am a fan of theirs would be an awkward, uncomfortable thing. But it felt like talking to a friend. And after about ten minutes of conversation, I was confident (and still am confident!) that we are now friends of Jeff Angell's. Before going back into the venue, Jeff gave us two of his personalized guitar picks and told us to enjoy the show. Now, I've been to lots of concerts but not one musician has ever acted like that towards me, a "fan". I was in awe. Who'd've thought that a rock god can double as quite the gentleman?

After entering the venue, there were only about twelve people inside. It was early, around 7:30 p.m. 

While we were waiting for the first band of the lineup to play, Dad left to go to the restroom and after speaking to our friend, Mr. Security Guard, he somehow came back with passes to sit in the VIP seating area. Perfection. Especially since the band we really came for won't be playing until 10, seats would be great!

The first band was announced: The Wasted Damsels. A blonde female lead and a couple of dudes. While they seemed to be talented, their music was nothing exquisite.

wasted damsels.

After the Wasted Damsels, there was an intermission. As we sat at our table, our security friend came over to our table and handed me the official poster that had announced the Walking Papers and their performance date at the Roxy. Just for me! I was beginning to really feel like I belonged in VIP. I couldn't thank him enough for this extremely kind gesture. 

A couple minutes later, I headed to the restroom and as I was at the sink, the lead singer of Wasted Damsels was standing at vanity next to me, slumped over the sink, fixing her hair and makeup. I told her, "You guys did really great tonight!" 

burning in rome.

She stared into the mirror at me with absolutely no emotion and said, "Oh, thanks," looked back to her own face and that was it. Alrighty, then. I left the bathroom, deciding she sealed the deal that I won't be following The Wasted Damsels.

The second band played: Burning In Rome. They were also also just another rock band, but with the added bonus of a hip bassist. The venue was starting to fill up. The spirit and enthusiasm of the audience began to spike.

The third band I really loved. They are called Thick As Thieves (thievesmusic.com) and at first, we weren't quite sure what to make of them. They are extremely original and are made up of

thick as thieves (video below).

a jumble of characters that fit together perfectly. Thick As Thieves is a large, hip, talented, young group outfitted in all denim and their music is something I had never heard until then. The single female, keyboardist/lead vocalist, Sunday, has a very soft, sweet voice like sunshine and sweet tea. However, it is complemented uniquely by the other lead vocalist, a guy that sharply raps the clever verses. Their genre might be classified as something like bluesy-funk
y-soul, but it's almost folksy hip-hop. Thick As Thieves really do seem as thick as thieves. 

pink slips with duff mckagan.

The fourth band? The Pink Slips. This acoustic band is made up of two young girls, one of which belongs to the one and only Duff McKagan. That night at the Roxy, we were suddenly all part of a family affair! What must've been Duff's parents were there to watch their granddaughter and her friend perform. Duff was hanging out in the audience with his parents, along with his wife. It was a very surreal, unique experience to be
a part of. It was family. Duff wasn't a rock star at that moment, he was a father. Duff also accompanied the girls on stage for a co
uple of songs. Every person in the audience watched the father-daughter duo proudly. 

beware of darkness (video below).

After The Pink Slips performed, the hurricane that is Beware of Darkness was impending. Garage-grunge rock at its finest. Wailing at the top of his lungs, performing full-circle spins in midair, falling dramatically onto his knees, leaping and kicking in every direction, all while shredding the guitar like wood in a chipper. Impressive and unexpected tunes like "Ghost Town", "Sweet Girl", "Morning Tea" and, of course, "Howl", were all enriched by frontman Kyle Nicolaides and his sizzling stage presence.

jeff angel wooing the roxy.

"We played this song here at the Roxy about a year ago and butchered it. So, we're here again to make up for it," Nicolaides introduced "Howl". They sure lived up to their promise as they blasted into the invigorating, high-energy piece. Beware of Darkness' performance was doubtlessly delicious (bewareofdarknessmusic.com).
And finally, last but absolutely furthest from least, were my Walking Papers -- the incredibly talented supergroup from Seattle. Whether the members of the audience were there to witness Duff's newest ensemble, or because they were already true fans of the 90's grunge-style band, Walking Papers were greeted warmly with screams, shouts and whoops from the crowd. Jeff, clad in his signature fedora and psychedelic shirt, seized the crowd, roped them in and soaked them in his aura. A word I use predominantly to describe him is mesmerizing. And he proves every single time that the precision of this adjective could not be more dead on.
During a potently dynamic setlist including "The Whole World's Watching", "Two Tickets & a Room", "The Butcher", "Already Dead", "Red Envelopes" and more, Jeff was undoubtedly the main attraction. Any person that dares to make eye contact with him will be hypnotized by the crazed passion in his eyes. Grating the mic stand against the fret board of his guitar, strutting through the crowd, shivering with each word, quivering with each note, encouraging applause and hollers from the audience, he is the epitome of rock and roll. He is rock and roll.
Not to mention, Ben Anderson's banging the keys. It is fascinating to watch him become the music, to witness that connection between man and instrument. They are one entity.

walking papers at the roxy.

This bunch of incredible artists presents an unforgettable show that leaves the observer needing more and more and more, like some kind of healthy addiction.
Long story short (almost).....the Roxy rocks.


walking-papers.com
@walkingpapers1

bewareofdarknessmusic.com
@bewareodarkness

thievesmusic.com
@thievesmusic

@pinkslips97

theroxy.com
@theroxy

p.s. like always, i do not own any of these pictures! i really need to start taking pictures.....

p.p.s. here's a teeny sampling of the music from some of the bands mentioned above. please listen. please discover. please enjoy. :)

 beware of darkness "howl"

 thick as thieves "dangerous"walking papers "two tickets & a room"

Get Your Walking Papers.

Back in 2013, Dad and I bought tickets for the Rockstar Energy Drink Uproar Festival specifically to see Jane's Addiction. After we bought the tickets and realized that it was indeed a festival that included more bands other than just Jane's Addiction, I decided to do some research. I looked up the entire lineup for the day on the website and listened to each of the bands listed. There were a couple that I liked; however, one of the bands in particular caught my eye..or ear, rather. The Walking Papers. They had only one album that had released in 2012 and after listening to each of the songs, I knew I had to check them out live at the festival. 

duff mckagan & barrett martin.

The day of the festival had arrived and I told Dad we absolutely had to go early so I could see this band. He asked the name and after telling him "Walking Papers", he laughed it off, expecting some teeny-bopper rock band. I persevered and Dad gave in. 
After arriving at the venue, we wandered up to the lawn where the opening bands, including the Dead Daisies, Danko Jones, Middle Class Rut, and my Walking Papers were playing. I was hoping these guys would live up to what I heard on YouTube. I was hoping I could prove to my dad that I do know an awesome band when I hear one. And I was hoping a great show was eminent. And it certainly was.

jeff angell.

The opening riff of their single,"The Whole World's Watching" blasted from Jeff Angell's guitar, his voice strong, bluesy and raspy belted the words The change occurs when the pain of doing the same thing is worse than the fear of change. I was mesmerized, he was purely mesmerizing. His presence on that stage claims the attention of all who are watching, all who are close enough to be enticed by his magnetic aura. Hurry up and wait. Not to mention, Duff McKagan of Guns N' Roses ripping up the bass, Barrett Martin of Screaming Trees killing the drums and Benjamin Anderson slamming the keys. You have to be high on LSD to think this is the land of the free. 
During "The Butcher", a ballad that he has confirmed is based on events from his own life (Click here to read the interview with Jeff!), Jeff ditches the guitar. As the opening piano notes linger, he kicks down the mic stand and brings it back up to him in a flourish, waiting for (and encouraging) approval from the audience. We all cheer. Haunting lyrics. Who knows how he got out early, how he got a second chance. Jeff's body vibrates with emotion and passion. Kicks down the stand again. Brings it back up. Cheers. Louder. Mothers do all sorts of things that their babies don't think they should. Into the standing crowd he leaps, bringing the mic with him and singing personally into each of our faces. He introduced us to his demons, we started moving in reverse. Interacting with every audience member, he struts through the crowd. Just when things can't get no worse, that's when they do, baby. He climbs back up onto the stage, pauses and very unexpectedly he flings the microphone so that the cord wraps tightly around his neck, a dark gesture to match the dark lyrics. Seems he and the butcher knife went dancing, must have been cheek to cheek. Click here to watch the live performance of "The Butcher"!
"This song's for any of you who've had trouble with the police," Jeff starts his next song: "Two Tickets & A Room". His arm straight, palm open to the audience, signature Jeff. Ben's jumping out of his seat, he's part of the music, focusing on nothing but banging those keys. Smoke and amazement rising from the audience. During his solo, Jeff grinds the pole of the microphone along the strings of his guitar, which wails and howls with approval. His face twisted and distorted with intensity. He grooves with the melody. Gestures to members of the audience, connecting, bonding. Click here to watch the live performance of "Two Tickets & A Room"!
"You gotta let the spirit out!" announces the opening of "Capital T" accompanied by bluesy organ. You're easy on the eyes, baby, you're wise beyond your years.
Each song was vigorously unique, told a moving story, was immensely tremendous.
After more mind-blowing performances of "Red Envelopes", "I'll Stick Around" and more, Jeff and the band thank us and walk off stage, leaving the audience in a state of pure bewilderment. Okay, maybe leaving only me in a state of pure bewilderment -- I don't know about the others around me. But I knew I wasn't done with them. I wanted more and more and more. I turned to Dad and he, too, was stupefied! Mesmerized.

microphone noose.

He spoke first and exclaimed how awesome this band was and how he was extremely glad I made him come early to see them (I was right, of course). All I could think was 'Wow'.
There wasn't a better performance by any band the rest of the night. Bluesy, grungy, fiery, passionate, edgy, brilliant Walking Papers stole the entire show. Even blowing Jane's Addiction and Alice In Chains right out of the water. Not only are they amazingly talented musicians, each one of them, Jeff brought the show to another level, one I've never personally witnessed before at any live show -- he was one with the audience.

benjamin anderson.

We knew we had to see them again. Days after the Festival, I decided to check out if they were scheduled to play locally any time soon. And they were! At the Roxy Theatre in West Hollywood. One of the coolest venues ever. I bought tickets immediately and on October 17, Dad and I were headed north on the 5 freeway to see our new favorite band for the second time. [To Be Continued in 'The Roxy Rocks']



Check out Walking Papers & their debut album! Click here to visit the official Walking Papers website! Follow them on twitter at @walkingpapers1 :)

^the whole world's watching - studio version^

p.s. i do not own any of the above photos or videos!